Chrys Wagner, a friend and fellow massage therapist (owner of Golden Flower Massage) lost her beloved pet Miles Silverberg Wagner on Halloween. The following is her story of how God kept her home to say goodbye to her most faithful furry companion as he prepared to walk over the Rainbow Bridge. It is bittersweet--heartwarming and sad. I think those of us remembering the loss of a pet or going through the same thing will find it inspiring. Thank you, Chrys, for letting us share your story.

Thank God for the leaky faucet that turned to a stream, and thank God for the shut-off valve under the sink that wouldn't work, and thank God for all the things that went wrong yesterday (Friday), because all those things kept me home on what turned out to be Kitty Miles's last night alive. I watched a spooky movie Friday night, with Kitty Miles curled up on my lap, purring away.

Our little furry friend was with us for 15 years. He was fine! He was happy and playful, and then, early this evening (Saturday) and without warning, he was gone. Right at my feet. I didn't even know what was happening. As he took his last breaths, I begged him not to go, but he couldn't help it.

Thank God I was home in my own bed this morning so Kitty Miles could wake me up one last time. Thank God I was home tonight, or else Kitty Miles would have died alone. Thank God for giving me an unexplainable sense that I needed to stay home.

Thank God for Lyn who graciously and compassionately received my first cries. Thank God for my sister who sat with me and cried with me and stroked Kitty's inkblot fur with me. Thank God for my daughters who left a wedding reception to come say goodbye. Thank God for their boyfriends who did what I could not do -- lifted poor Kitty's little body and placed him in a box with a blanket. Thank God for the 24-hr. operators at the vet who told me what I needed to do tonight.

Thank God for my daughters' father who will drive to MSU in the morning to bring Kate home so that we can all be together to say goodbye.

Thank God for little critters who bring us comfort and happiness and a measure of frustration. Thank God for this opportunity to learn about love and loss and grief, for the opportunity to look into his empty eyes and wonder, Where is he? What IS this thing that animates us? Cat, tree, human, we all die. What is this power that keeps us going and then, *poof*, gone?

My belief? This is God. This is the power that creates something from nothing, the power that brings order to chaos and tosses order back to chaos again, the power that sends the planets spinning and the power that holds them in place; this is the power that causes the earth to quake and the leaf to tremble, the rivers to flow and the body to sleep. What left Kitty Miles's body tonight was a tiny piece of God. A speck of holiness, now on my lap, purring, now at my feet, dying. One stroke, one beat of a heart and *whoosh*, it's gone. What else could I do but cry as it slips away, Don't go! Go if you must, but know that I'll miss you.

And this speck of a voice inside me says, "What's there to miss? I'm right here."

Mystery of mysteries. Life, I love you.

November 1, 2009